Jill Prescott

Spiritual Bad Ass

Jill Prescott

Heart closed or heart open – it’s up to you.

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I’ve noticed lately that we are always presented with an option in challenging situations. The thing about challenging situations is that pretty much every one of them involves another person, and if there’s a challenge, it usually means that there is, at minimum, a difference of opinion.

Here’s where the option comes in:

1) Straighten your back, pull your heart closed and stand your ground, holding to your opinion like a lifeline so you can be right.
2) Open your heart and listen from there, with respect and a deep desire to understand.

The first option will keep you safe. You won’t have to reconsider your truth or examine another possible view of things. Afterwards, when you’ve proven your point, you can go brag about it to other people and get their agreement. It’ll feel great to be so fucking right! For a minute. Then, if you have any small amount of awareness (this is the amount we all have) you’ll start to feel a little shitty. All the righteousness will sour like milk left too long on the counter. Most likely, the other party will start to feel resentment,  which may even cost you the relationship. For sure, it will be damaged.

The second option will offer you an opportunity for kindness and understanding. You’ll be choosing to be of service to another while at the same time opening a dialogue that may bring about healing. It will create expansion. You will both feel clear, safe and open. Perhaps you’ll learn something and breakthrough an old belief that had been limiting you. It could even bring you and the other party closer or, if it is what is necessary, complete a relationship with grace and love, leaving both parties free to open to others without the burden of regret or resentment.

The first option is fear based. 

The second option is love based. 

Choose.

Love,
Jill

Bali Spoke, I Listened

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Today is the 5th day of my first trip to Bali. I say it this way because it is clear to me that it is the first of many. There is something majestic about the very land we walk on here, and it shows in faces of the people.

That majesty has come fully into my being, transforming the very fibers that make me a human being. Yes, I am a human being. I chose this with my full soul as a desire beyond comprehension.

At some point, I will leave this experience of being a human behind and return to my true home of the soul existence. Between now and then, I intend to spend every single moment seeking and finding Creator in everyone I have the privilege of coming across.

In my right-now life that looks like being so present in a conversation that you will have no doubt you have been seen and heard. It means checking in with every program I create and offer in the world to be sure it is completely in alignment with seeing Creator in everyone. It means that these same programs create the space for the human souls I work with to see Creator in themselves; to know themselves as Divine.

It means for now and for always, staying present to whatever is within me that might keep me blind to Divine presence.

It means I will trust and surrender, over and over, to being led to this grace.

no more fucking SECRETS!

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no more fucking

Yesterday, as I drove out to Langley I felt this huge wave of anger rising in me and knew that what was about to come out of my mouth had to be recorded. I pulled out my phone started a voice memo. This morning, I listened to it again and broke down in tears again. It’s very difficult to listen to and I cry through the entire recording.  It went something like this:

FUCK keeping secrets!

FUCK teaching our children to keep secrets. There is nothing but destruction created when we are told “don’t tell” “keep it in the family” “if you tell someone’s gonna get hurt” FUCK THAT! No more secrets. NO MORE SECRETS! Fuck the damage it does and the suppression it creates. And the guilt and the shame. It leaves the person holding the secret bound to  guilt and shame. Bound to suffering. Bound to staying small. Bound to feeling broken. Staying silent keeps you in pain. The secrets become blocks in our bodies. Walls are created, keeping us separate from each other. Alone in our pain. As adults we don’t know what to do with our secrets and so we bury them deep in our hearts and bodies but they don’t stay there. Eventually, they come up to haunt us, creating illness, dis-ease and mental illness. They rob us of our joy and peace. And all the time we are passing on this legacy to our children. We teach them how to hold secrets, how to suffer in silence, generation after generation after generation. And the shame continues. And the guilt continues.  Fuck keeping secrets! No more secrets. They are robbing you of who you truly are and what you are meant to do in this life.

Take back you innocence. 

It is time to stop the secrets. It is time to be afraid and tell anyway. It is time to tell your stories. Share your grief and your pain. Bring that darkness to the light. Bring it to the light so the guilt and shame can be released so that you can let the light in. Tell your secrets. Stop carrying them. They’re breaking you. They’re breaking you! Don’t let them break you anymore! Offer your secrets to the world as a gift so that others know they are not alone. Offer them so that we can break the cycle of silence so that are children do not have to carry our burden. So that are babies are born into innocence and so that innocence comes back to us. Tell your secrets and take away their power so you may heal. Forgive and let love back in. Let love shine from you. Let love be what guides you. No more fucking secrets!

Are you ready to let go of your secrets? Find someone safe to tell them to. Go to the people that love you and share. Call me if you don’t have anyone you feel safe enough to tell your secrets to. I will listen. When you do this, when you open the door these secrets have been locked behind you will begin to heal. Light of truth is like salve for the wounds. You no longer need to carry this load.

With love,

Jill

Trust and Surrender, Again and Again and Again

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One does not surrender in a day.

For the last couple of days I’ve been sick. Sore throat, as always, was the first sign.  Because I believe that illness has a root cause in a disruption or inconsistency in our emotional or energetic wellness, I’ve been contemplating where this started before it manifested physically.

Here’s what I’ve discovered so far:

I’ve been questioning the value of my work a lot in the last while, not only on conscious level but also subconsciously. How do I know that? It shows up in my meditations as fear, resistance, a sense of lack, desperation and anger. There is an inherent part of my personality that lives in constant doubt of my value in the world. It’s something I have carried for a very long time and have done a lot of “work” around the topic. I understand intellectually that it doesn’t actually have to remain inherent, however I also acknowledge it may be something that’s been with me for many of my lifetimes.

As I contemplate the connection between my sore throat and this deeply ingrained self-doubt, I see that there is a part of me that does not want to admit to this out of fear that any current and future humans that may want to be a part of my work will turn away in disgust. The fear that if they see the real me, the not-so-confident me, they’ll run as far as possible out of my world. And they’ll take my friends and family with them. Yes, I can see the insanity of this. I can see how ridiculous it all is and yet there it is, feeling as real as the nose on my face.

In two weeks I will once again lead a group of people on a journey into themselves through meditation as well as opening myself as a portal for Divine energy. I will hold space as each person follows the trail to the inherent wisdom within. As a group, we will elevate consciousness in the world and open pathways to deep and gorgeous remembering of personal value. Each will know themselves as connected and inseparable from Spirit. When I say “each” I include myself in that beautiful mystery.

So how do I get from here, this place of dis-ease, to there?

I surrender. And trust. Again and again and again. It really is so simple and yet at the same time, my greatest lesson; one I am invited to learn over and over. And so today I’ll rest. Tea, warm baths, noodle soup and my bed will be the elixirs for this sore body and leaning into the possibility of what’s coming on April 23rd will be the elixir for my heart.

Some of the Things I Learned in 2014

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20142015

2014 You’ve been quite a year.

Here are a few of the things you’ve taught me:

1. When your Mom dies it leaves a scar

and scars are beautiful. They leave a permanent reminder of incredible events in your life. Every time I touch mine a connection is made with her almost as if she’s right here with me. In some ways she is, through memories and images. I like to believe she guides me gently while encouraging me to be bold and true to my heart. I feel closer to her now than I have since I was a young child. 

2. The saying “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” is true

and I am living proof of that. This year I went through financial devastation, a major spiritual crisis, loss of friends I thought I would have for life, my Mother’s death, the end of a romantic relationship and a shift in my career that had me questioning my sanity. And now as this year comes to a close I can look back and see the beauty in all of it. I didn’t die and I’m much stronger. 

3. Surrender and Trust in something greater than yourself will change your life

sometimes in ways that you’d rather they didn’t, and sometimes in ways that are brilliant, even if it doesn’t seem that way at the time. Having faith beyond what can be proven in a way that would satisfy a scientist opens a space in your being that allows in deep compassion, love and grace. The world needs more of that. Lots more. 

4. If you are willing to speak your truth people will listen

and it will change lives, yours most profoundly. When you are willing to open yourself and expose your most vulnerable heart you will find yourself surrounded by love and support. It creates room for others to heal.  

5. My past has given me a rich well to draw on

and the people I come in contact with in my life and my work benefit from it. We all have stories, a past, experiences that when shared allow connection and recognition between you and another human being. If you choose to recognize the gifts in it all, including what brought pain it becomes a part of your medicine bag. Healers need big medicine bags. 

6. Saying “No” to anything that doesn’t look like what you’ve dreamed of will make your dreams real

which in my case looks like a beautiful man with a heart big enough to hold all of my feminine power. Once I let go of anyone that wasn’t him it happened so fast I almost missed it and I had to circle back and look again. Thank the heavens he had enough sense to asked me out a second time. No matter if he is in my life for a day or a lifetime I will always be grateful for him. 

7. Some people are meant to be in your life for a long while; others are just passing through 

and each of them come in for a reason. They bring a lesson or message. Sometimes they’re the perfect mirrors for you to see yourself more clearly. When they leave it may take some time to see the role they were there to play. Persist. I promise there is a reason every time. 

8. You are never, ever, even for a moment, off your path

so keep walking. Choose every moment knowing you can’t go wrong even when at times it may seem that way. Keep your eyes and heart open and remember always that you are loved beyond measure and guided always. We don’t walk this path alone. 

9. Taking small actions every day will lead to big changes

in your business, personal life and community. No matter what, do something, one small thing every day with how you want to feel leading you and soon you’ll look back and be in awe of how far you’ve come. When this happens, celebrate in a big way.  

10. People who love you know when you respond with “I’m fine thanks” it’s bullshit

and will call you on it with a gentle directness. Sometimes that means saying nothing and instead wrapping you in a hug. Other times in means a glass of wine or cup of tea and a long tear filled often messy conversation.  

11. Love is the answer every single time

and when that is the place you come from you cannot go wrong. Love more, deeper, with abandon starting with your self. Fall so deeply in love with yourself that it spills out all over everyone you meet. If we all did this war would no longer exist, our mother earth would be restored to her full glory and equality would be the way of the world. Love with abandon. Please.

2015, I am so looking forward to every thing you have to offer. I promise to stay present, keep opening and remembering who and what I am and dance my way through all that is to come.

The Cost of Not Speaking My Truth

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costpicWhen I was 17 years old, I had to deal with the ugliness of having an inability to speak the truth. You see, I learned young to keep quiet and keep secrets. Don’t tell or there will be punishment and/or rejection. Fear was ever present and the world wasn’t safe.

I woke up one day with intense, stabbing pains in my stomach. My Mom took me to the hospital where I was asked repeatedly if I was sexually active. I refused to admit that I was. The doctor asked, my mother pleaded and still I said “no”. The terror that lived in my being of what would happen if my Mom found out was far greater than any physical pain you could have put me through. Even though my Mom was a loving, kind woman I was so wracked with guilt and shame that I just couldn’t speak. And so they removed my appendix, even though when they got in there they found nothing wrong with it.

Years later I found out that there had been an ectopic pregnancy. This caused irreparable damage to the tube on that side, filling it with scar tissue and blocking it completely. The appendix removal caused scarring on the other side which a few years later, when I was doing whatever I could to get pregnant, caused a second ectopic pregnancy that imploded, costing my the tube on that side and damn near my life.

For over 15 years of my life, I prayed every month for a child to be born of my body. And every month, my heart broke.

All of that pain and suffering because I had lost my voice in childhood. I had been assulted; sexually, emotionally and physically by 3 sisters in my neighborhood and no one noticed. It has taken me many years to be willing and able to speak up for myself, and still I often have to remind myself that I am safe. That I am loved beyond measure and I can not be damaged by another human being unless I allow it.

I am posting this so that you may feel inspired to help a young person today keep or find their voice. Or perhaps an adult recover theirs. It is the most gratifying and humbling part of what I’ve chosen to do in my work and I am grateful every day for those that allow me into their lives to guide them in this way.

Speak your truth. It will save you.

Blessing and Love,
Jill