Sometimes I have these really amazing conversations that ask me to re-consider my point of view, or even my convictions about a thing.
The one I had like that recently was about Self-Love
In the past I’ve been adamant that you needed to love yourself before being loved by another. Also, your depth of capacity to love another was in direct proportion to how much you loved yourself.
The flaw in that argument is two-fold.
First, a core belief I hold is that we’re all connected; all part of the whole. Therefore, if another part of me (another person) loves me I must love myself. Otherwise, how would I recognize the love? Sometimes another person’s love is needed in order to simply remember we are love/loved/loving.
Second, love is infinite. It goes far beyond the human experience and has no limits. What this tells me is that a powerful expression of love from another to myself is an opportunity to wake up to the love I already hold within.
What I’ve learned from this:
Whenever I find myself digging my heels in around a belief I have when someone else offers a different point of view, that is the time to get curious. It won’t always make me change my mind, and sometimes it’ll take a bit of time to really explore the nuances. Discernment is a key part of the exploration.
For clarity, I’m not talking about Values here. (Here’s a link to get clarity on your values if you haven’t done that exercise in some form in the past: Values Assessment PDF)
One of my values is Love. That hasn’t changed in and of itself. My relationship to an aspect of it has opened and shifted though.
I’d love to know what belief has shifted for you over time if you’d be so generous as to share that with me. Is there something you used to be ‘absolutely positive’ about that perhaps you’ve softened your view of? Or maybe done a complete 180° on? I’m curious.
In the meantime, I love you.
Even if right now you’re not feeling a whole lot of love for yourself.