Yesterday, as I drove out to Langley I felt this huge wave of anger rising in me and knew that what was about to come out of my mouth had to be recorded. I pulled out my phone started a voice memo. This morning, I listened to it again and broke down in tears again. It’s very difficult to listen to and I cry through the entire recording. It went something like this:
FUCK keeping secrets!
FUCK teaching our children to keep secrets. There is nothing but destruction created when we are told “don’t tell” “keep it in the family” “if you tell someone’s gonna get hurt” FUCK THAT! No more secrets. NO MORE SECRETS! Fuck the damage it does and the suppression it creates. And the guilt and the shame. It leaves the person holding the secret bound to guilt and shame. Bound to suffering. Bound to staying small. Bound to feeling broken. Staying silent keeps you in pain. The secrets become blocks in our bodies. Walls are created, keeping us separate from each other. Alone in our pain. As adults we don’t know what to do with our secrets and so we bury them deep in our hearts and bodies but they don’t stay there. Eventually, they come up to haunt us, creating illness, dis-ease and mental illness. They rob us of our joy and peace. And all the time we are passing on this legacy to our children. We teach them how to hold secrets, how to suffer in silence, generation after generation after generation. And the shame continues. And the guilt continues. Fuck keeping secrets! No more secrets. They are robbing you of who you truly are and what you are meant to do in this life.
Take back you innocence.
It is time to stop the secrets. It is time to be afraid and tell anyway. It is time to tell your stories. Share your grief and your pain. Bring that darkness to the light. Bring it to the light so the guilt and shame can be released so that you can let the light in. Tell your secrets. Stop carrying them. They’re breaking you. They’re breaking you! Don’t let them break you anymore! Offer your secrets to the world as a gift so that others know they are not alone. Offer them so that we can break the cycle of silence so that are children do not have to carry our burden. So that are babies are born into innocence and so that innocence comes back to us. Tell your secrets and take away their power so you may heal. Forgive and let love back in. Let love shine from you. Let love be what guides you. No more fucking secrets!
Are you ready to let go of your secrets? Find someone safe to tell them to. Go to the people that love you and share. Call me if you don’t have anyone you feel safe enough to tell your secrets to. I will listen. When you do this, when you open the door these secrets have been locked behind you will begin to heal. Light of truth is like salve for the wounds. You no longer need to carry this load.